I spent time my family last weekend...

A recalling of an event that has left me filled with joy, love and a yearning for growth...

I remember one night, long ago. I was maybe 7. I wake up in the middle of the night. Go to use the restroom. I remember it being WAY past my bedtime. I also remember maneuvering past my sister, some of my cousins, and other kids my age; all of us crammed into a room together. I think it was my sister’s room, hers being bigger than mine.

As I opened the door, to my surprise, all of my Tias, along with my parents, some of my dad’s friends, and other random people were still up. Playing cards. Blasting music and just vibing. Having a great time. Laughing and enjoying the feeling that only comes when families spend time together.

I also remember thinking, even at such a young age, that I couldn’t wait to do this with my family when I was older. To spend an endless amount of time with my cousins. To have family reunions. Spend weekends together. To always be with each other.

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Then I got older.

Then I got a job.

Was blessed by God with a perfect family of my own that I am thankful for every day of my life.

My 20s came and went.

I then got into my 30s.

Routine set in. One that didn’t see me seeking out time with my cousins, aunts or extended family; the same people I had spent so much meaningful time with in my youth. A youth that was filled with such beautiful memories because of these people.

For example, it seemed like it was every year that the Cowboys were in the SuperBowl. (Which seems laughable now considering the dumpster-fire that is that organization). We’d all get together either at my tia Maidas ranch, or my tia Roses house on Milo street. We’d have some type of cookout, see the Cowboys beat the Bills or Steelers, then party till the sun comes up.

Or we’d go camping. Camping that would see me and all my cousins stuffed into a popup camper or a tiny tent. It’d be Alex, Kris, Mandy, Karla, probably others who I’m forgetting, and me. All stuffed into a camper/tent that probably couldn't house more than 4 people lol. But outside? The grownups would keep the party going; spending as much time with each other as possible.

Making memories.

This was the norm my entire childhood.

But, sadly, eventually we all got older…

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Then, I saw that my cousin Kris had posted an invite to her daughter's bday celebration. Little Mylah, who I had never met, was turning three.

The invitation was sent to a thread that has been my only contact with my cousins for what seems like years.

In the past, similar invitations had taken place. An invite to this get-together. Or this birthday. Or this reunion.

Every time, for whatever reason, I found myself not being able to go. An illness. A work excuse. Or some other roadblock in the way causing me not to be able to see the people I loved spending so much time with as a child. People that I had envisioned staying up all night with when I got older while our children slept in a random room like I did as a child. (Yes, even as a young boy I knew I’d have kids one day lol)

Well, this year I made it a point to see this party through. I was going to find a way to get to Corpus. To bring all my boys that I had seemingly hidden away from my extended family; not by choice of course, but due to life getting in the way.

Not this time. It was going to happen. I WAS GOING TO SEE MY FAMILY...

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It was about 3:30 last Saturday when I arrived at my cousin Kris’s house. I was getting Angelo off the truck when I heard a voice cry out loud, “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”

It was my Tia Rose. She was standing outside waiting for the Mariachi to come serenade our birthday girl, Mylah. As I embraced Rose, it dawned on me that I hadn’t hugged her in nearly a decade, possibly longer. As I hugged her tightly, I felt a sudden joy that I hadn’t felt in such a long time. It was a realization that I was going to finally have a night like I had imagined happening when I was younger. A night where I would party with my cousins while the kids played somewhere else. Where we would laugh all night. Share stories. Play games. And create lifelong memories…

As I made it into the house, I saw my Tia Quata. Then my cousin Rene. Then my Tia Maida, Doris, Elva and Nena. Then my other cousins Rawley, Debbie, Mirna, Daniela, Kris, Karla, Kayla, Pimpis (real name Cynthia lol), Mandy, my Tio Eli, and countless other family members that I hadn’t seen in what felt like forever.

From that point on, time slowed in my mind. I tried to take everything in. Tried to make up for lost time while also introducing my kids to everyone. It honestly felt like a dream. Didnt feel real. Was this really happening? Was I finally here? Had I finally made it to a reunion; an event I had promised myself would be the norm as I got older?

I remember trying to order a pizza for my picky eating boys. And I couldn't do it. My mind couldn't perform this simple task. It got to the point where Lorena told me to go inside, to a quiet room so I could concentrate. My mind was trying to make up for so much time that I literally forgot how to make a phone call and order a pizza lol…

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It was about 10:00 pm when I finally sat down to take it all in. I was working on my 5th/6th miller. The vibes were great.

Laughter.

Tears of joy here and there.

Promises to see each other more.

I had a smile on my face. My heart was full…

But there was also a tinge of something. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something was a bit off. Then it hit me; Regret.

Regret that I hadn’t held up my end of the promise I made to myself as a kid. A promise to be more like my Dad and be the one who got everyone together. To be the life of the party who made it a point to always spend time with his loved ones. Even if that meant driving for hours and breaking up routines.

This didn’t happen.

I didn’t become my father in this way.

I got consumed with work. I stayed in my comfort zone. I didn’t seek out my family. I didn’t organize get-togethers. I’ve never outright ignored my family of course, but it’d be fair to say I could’ve grown up to be a better cousin. A better nephew. A better relative to my extended family.

In this way, last Saturday served as a reminder to myself to try to work harder on making good on the promise I made to myself as a child.

I’ll get there…

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To my family, hear me when I say that I love every one of you.

Every Mascorro I’ve met has in one way or another, truley impacted my life.

I am truly thankful for every one of you.

I truly hope that Mylah’s birthday celebration helps remind us of the magic that happens when we spend time together.

When we share and create memories together.

When our children see us together.

Mascorros are a rarity in my experience…

Let us not make laughing, celebrating, and being with each other one as well…